Reach Out

It’s really not important.

I’m sure they’re too busy.

I don’t want to bother them.

I visited my hometown this past weekend, joining my sisters at a poetry reading on Saturday afternoon. As I left town on Sunday, I decided to drive by the house we grew up in, just to have a look. As I drove down our old street, I saw a couple and a child taking a walk—we had met the couple the day before at the reading (where we’d found that they now live in the house next to the one we grew up in!). As I passed them, I thought of turning around to say hello and to tell them what a pleasure it had been meeting and talking with them. My next three thoughts were the three statements listed above. Fortunately, the next thought after those was: Turn around and tell them.

I turned the car around and pulled over. We greeted one another, I met their daughter, and they invited me in. The result was a wonderful sense of connectedness.

The unique inventions and developments of our time have created, along with amazing opportunities, experiences that bear looking at:

• unprecedented self-sufficiency
  
• technology-driven isolation (yes, even with social networking)
  
• schedules that don’t allow margin for serendipitous connection
  

Whether extroverts or introverts, we are, first, human. And human connection is central to our makeup. Study after study has shown that our happiness, our health, our very survival depend on it. Studies also show that, in our society, isolation and loneliness are on the rise.

To do:

• Reach out to a good friend at least once a week- just to say “hello” (rather than stopping because, “It’s really not important”—it is important)
  
• When you’re feeling down—pick up the phone! Talk with a trusted friend (rather than hesitating because, “I’m sure they’re too busy”—a trusted friend finds or makes the time)
  
• Look for opportunities to connect with people around you on a regular basis—say hello to the person in the elevator, introduce yourself to someone at the event, etc. (rather than thinking, “I don’t want to bother them”—what’s bothersome? Creating connection, even a little one, is heartening to others and builds a critical sense of community)
  

With so much in our world conspiring to keep us from one another, take the initiative to go the other direction. Reach out.