Monday, March 28, 2011

Expanding & Opening

How often do you give presentations? Speak to large groups or groups of any size? And when you do, how effective are you? When the stakes are high, what are you doing to make sure that you get the job done and achieve your outcomes?

To buy into your message, people need to see you as credible, and they need to believe that you believe in what you’re talking about. One without the other won’t cut it.

For my clients, establishing the former isn’t as much of any issue as the latter. Not a big deal? One out of two isn’t bad? Not so. The math breaks down here. Because the latter influences the former, in the minds of your audience. Meaning that beyond establishing your credibility and expertise through your content, when your audience perceives that you not only know your content but that you have belief/conviction/confidence in it, their perception of your credibility goes up even more.

The question is, then, how do you raise their perception of your belief, conviction and confidence? One way is through their perception of your power. Show them your power.

Okay then—how do you show your power? Through how you carry yourself. Collaborative research out of Columbia and Harvard Universities (Carney, Cuddy & Yap) is particularly exciting, because it shows that not only is your audience’s perception of power influenced by how you carry yourself. It shows that your actual power is influenced by how you carry yourself. They measured:

  • Expansiveness (taking up more or less space), and
  • Openness (keeping limbs open or closed)

And they found that when you take up more space and keep your limbs open, your audience’s belief in your power isn’t the only thing that changes (in this case strengthened). What also changes is your testosterone levels (rise) and your cortisol levels (drop). And this is a recipe for not just an increase in their perception of your power, but of your actual power, influencing your cognition, emotions, behavior and physiology. Short version: you're more likely to do and say smart and powerful things.

Here’s what this boils down to:

  • Stay away from all of the typical traps that speak of “small” and “closed”—arms folded, head down, no or very small gestures, legs crossed, little or no movement. Go the other direction. Keep your body open and don’t get locked.
  • Move around. This doesn’t mean wander or pace. This means to deliver some of your content with a good solid stance. Then take a good few purposeful steps—toward the audience, to the screen or another visual—and plant yourself again and deliver more content from there, etc.
  • Use your arms. This doesn’t mean in a small, timid way. It also doesn’t mean to wave them wildly and continuously. I typically see one or the other (most often the first). It means to use purposeful and bold gestures—to visuals, or toward the audience, or to emphasize a point.

Feel nervous about a big presentation coming up? Don’t wait to feel powerful. Move your body powerfully. And your body will step up: your nerves will decrease, your power will increase. And your credibility along with it.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Your True Grit

We all have things that are non-negotiables for us. A few, or possibly just one thing, that we say in our hearts, “This must be. I must do this thing.” It could be to finally learn how to swim, or learn a language, or write a book, or strengthen a relationship. It could be anything.

It’s simply that these things that we know are important for us, and that live in our hearts, often have obstacles of some sort associated with them—time, money, fear, other people…. And it’s ours to step up and step through or step around. Or not.

If you haven’t seen “True Grit” yet, see it. I didn’t make it to the theaters but saw it on a plane yesterday. And not more than ten minutes into the film, the “true grit” of the youngest of the main characters (really trying to not spoil things here) had me riveted.

And what really caught my attention about this particular character, was that it wasn’t just “grit,” although there was plenty of that. The other ingredient, that came before the grit, was the vision. An absolutely crystal clear vision that fully engaged this person’s mind and heart. Complete focus and commitment. The vision was in place at that level, so when the obstacles showed up, there simply was no question. True grit would be applied, and a way would be found. Through, around, over, under. A way simply would be found.

If a “thing” in your life comes up for you when you think about this, see the movie this week. And I’m not saying that your obstacles aren’t real. I’m saying that when your vision gets crystal clear and fully engages your mind and your heart and you are focused and committed, interesting things can happen. Your true grit may step in and step up in ways that surprise you. And ways through, around, over, under may present themselves in ways you hadn’t planned.

Monday, March 7, 2011

A Good Equation


Have nothing in your house which you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

William Morris, 19th century British artist, designer, writer, social innovator

This William Morris quote is full of wisdom. It showed up in my blog a month ago as wisdom, and it’s showing up today as an equation.

First, a few definitions:

  • It’s oft been said that one’s house is a metaphor for one’s life. Or, at the very least, the house reflects the self. So, for our purposes today, let’s broaden the definition of “house” to “life”
  • “Useful”-serviceable for an end or purpose, or, of a valuable or productive kind” (Merriam-Webster)
  • “Beautiful” - “exalts the mind or spirit, excellent quality” (Merriam-Webster)

So, have nothing in your life which isn’t useful (productive or serviceable for an end or purpose) or beautiful (uplifting and good). Wow. When you put it like that, a lot of things become clear. Our choices, our “yes-es,” will fit one of those categories. Or, perhaps both.

What we do, how we spend our time, what we eat, who we associate with. And I encourage you to think below the surface. “Helping someone” sounds like it fits the “beautiful” category, for example, as does “listening to someone.” Because we think of those as good things. And so they are. Just not always.

  • On "helpfulness": Is there a situation in which helping a friend is not the most beautiful thing? Would it be more beautiful (better) for this friend to help themselves out, and be their own hero today?
  • On "listening": Last week, I ran into an acquaintance who typically has a lot to say. I was on a schedule, this person was clearly not. After talking a few minutes, I could hear the conversation becoming a lengthy one, putting me behind, and cementing our relationship as “we bump into each other and she talks and I smile and fall behind schedule and feel frustrated.” I knew that listening certainly wasn’t useful to my day, and actually wasn’t beautiful, either. Speaking up for your needs (in my case, to get back on track with my day) is a good thing. I did, we parted amicably, and that was that.

Using the “useful or beautiful” test will help you spend your time better. It doesn’t mean that you never get to goof off. Sometimes, if you’re stressed out, that’s going to be the most useful thing you can do. It’s simply going to help you to not spend your time goofing off when it’s not a “useful” thing but a “procrastination” thing.

Think about your life this week in light of the useful and the beautiful. And see how your schedule and your priorities improve.

* picture: a classic William Morris textile