Saying “No” to “No Problem”

I stopped by a coffeehouse for an iced latte yesterday. In response to my “Thank you,” the barista said something I hear more and more these days: “No problem.” Keep in mind that I had just paid money (a lot, actually—the priciest latte I’ve ever purchased—they don’t give it away at NYC’s Rockefeller Center) that will go into the coffers of that establishment and help keep it in business.

Now, I’m fairly sure the barista spoke with the intention of goodwill. At the same time, she failed to understand what her words actually communicated. “No problem” intimates that a problem has been created by one person, and that the other person is absolving that person of guilt by saying, “No problem.” They may as well say, “I forgive you.” And a barista forgiving you for buying a really expensive coffee that helps her keep her job somehow doesn’t make sense.

You may be thinking, “It’s just an expression!”

Here’s why this is important:

Language is strong stuff. While it’s a common expression, it also communicates something. When we hear “No problem,” on the surface, we accept it and it seems fine. Yet on a deeper level, often a subconscious level, we experience a low-grade dissatisfaction. A wondering. Something in us knows that something’s not quite right. Try this: notice how you feel the next time someone responds to your “Thank you” with “No problem.”  And then notice how you feel the next time someone responds with, “And thank you for coming in,” “You’re welcome,” “My pleasure,” “Happy to help” or “Anytime.” It’s likely that you will feel different. There’s more grace and more giving with those phrases. There’s more of a sense of satisfaction—a definite, not just possible, affirmation of goodwill. Those phrases actually create something positive and constructive—they have life. “No problem” lacks this—at best it’s neutral, and at worst it feels like a mild reprimand; an indication that you have put someone else out.

The bottom line:

As you seek to build constructive relationships at work or in any sphere, make sure you have everything marching in the right direction and working for you. Why work hard at developing productive communication and relationships, then weaken them with language that can work against you?

This week, choose language that will help and build and create, rather than language that will diminish. And “You're welcome,” or a derivative thereof, is a great place to start.