Saying No

Having trouble saying “No”? You’re in good company. Many people get into the habit of responding affirmatively to others’ requests, and it becomes just that—a habit. People start to turn to you because they know you’ll say “yes.” You keep saying “yes,” because now it’s part of your brand, and it’s what people expect. And if you do something different than what others expect, things get difficult.  They feel like you’ve changed the rules, and that makes them, and subsequently you, uncomfortable.

What we fail to understand is this:

• Saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to other things—things that are more important.
  
• Saying “no,” and setting boundaries, garners respect.
  
• Saying “no” gets easier. Remember—“yes” is a habit. The more you do something different, the more comfortable you will be with it. Practice saying “no.”

Three tips for saying “no”:

• If in doubt, say “no” (you can change it to a “yes” later, if you reconsider). The principle here is: under-promise, over-deliver.
  
• Be brief—don’t go on and on (“Unfortunately, I’m already working on X project.” “Thank you for asking, but we already have plans for that night.”)
  
• Stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone talk you into anything without your say-so.

This week, just say “no.”