Monday, November 9, 2009

Three Keys to a Better Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving holiday is upon us, and with it, the possibility of challenging interactions with relatives! Here are three principles for dealing with challenging situations involving others:

Don’t Get Dragged In

According to the American Psychological Association, general stress increases during holidays- 44% for women and 31% for men. One of the greatest stressors can be people—including family. When an irritating family member tries to drag you into a pointless argument, smile genuinely, say, “That may be” (neither agreeing nor disagreeing), and decisively change the subject. Their need for acknowledgment will be met, you won’t have sacrificed your integrity, and as long as you move on firmly, they will go with you.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors, and Better Families

If you’re the one who’s hosting, clearly let relatives know the block of time your house is “open for business.” We can take almost anything if we know the time is limited. Also, set up the “rules of the game” regarding keeping kitchen traffic to a minimum, keeping outdoor voices outdoors, etc.

Head it off at the pass

If you know that a close family member habitually turns holiday meals into a time to debate something sensitive, like politics, consider addressing it ahead of time. Rather than waiting for it to happen and trying to deal with another awkward situation, sit down and talk honestly about it now. Be courteous, describe your concern, listen to and acknowledge their perspective, then make your request along with a good reason for it.

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