Asking for Feedback

None of us are perfect, and none of us have a complete picture of ourselves. Maybe that’s by design. We are social beings, and perhaps it’s a good thing that for any one of us to reach our highest level of potential, we must get feedback from other people. The question is—do we?

If you work in an organization that has a healthy performance management system and 360 degree feedback process, chances are that you do receive feedback. If you don’t (and even if you do—because that feedback only addresses your professional competence—how about your success in your personal life?), you must seek it out.

If you’re thinking that asking for feedback shows weakness, think again. Research shows that people who ask for feedback on a consistent basis (non constant, but consistent) are viewed favorably in professional situations. This can translate into personal situations as well. This is because of the message it sends: I’m confident enough about what I’m doing to ask for feedback, and I’m not about covering myself, I’m about growing to higher levels of performance and contribution.

How to ask for feedback:

• Consider what you would like feedback on
• Identify who you would like to ask for feedback
  
• Tell them that you would like their feedback, explain why you’ve identified them, be clear about your goals for the feedback process, and lay out specifically what you would like feedback on
  
• Give them time to think about and prepare their feedback
  

When receiving the feedback:

• Listen and don’t interrupt
  
• Ask questions to clarify their meaning
  
• Don’t argue- if you do, that’s the last time you’ll get feedback from this person. Not to mention you’ll compromise the relationship by invalidating their perspective and disrespecting the effort they’ve gone to in providing you feedback
  
• Thank them for their effort and honesty
  

If you disagree with the feedback:

• If possible, let it go. Arguing won’t help you
  
• If the feedback indicates a need for you to clear something up, be very careful in how you proceed—this is delicate stuff. Thank them, and let them know that you realize you have light to shed on your actions or intentions, and ask their permission to proceed and explain yourself. They will not say “no” to this courteous approach, and it will likely not come across as a defensive argument
  

The best way to go into these feedback sessions it to picture yourself as a combination professional athlete/detective. The pro athlete isn’t coming and asking for feedback with their tail between their legs. They know they’re good, and are wide open to getting better. They know that feedback is their way to winning the championship. The detective looks for clues and information—and is happy when they uncover something—it gets them closer to achieving their goal. For the detective, the goal is to solve the case. For us, it’s to improve our performance and to reach our highest level. And any information that will help us do that is helpful.

This week, think about where your next level of excellence is. Identify who could give you helpful and honest feedback about where you are now that may affect where you want to go next. Use the principles for asking and receiving feedback. And see what you can find that will propel you toward your next level!