De-Stress the Holidays: Three Gifts to Give Yourself

The holidays bring an increase in activities- and an increase in the length of your to-do list! It’s easy to get agitated and feel robbed of the enjoyment of the season.  To sidestep the stress and restore your equilibrium, here are three gifts to give yourself:

Not Now, I’m Busy Breathing

A study by the American Psychological Association indicates that for 46% of women and 35% of men, financially-driven stress goes up during the holidays. When stressors present themselves, our breath becomes shallow (or we actually hold it), and stress increases! At any given moment, do a quick breathing exercise: Inhale through your nose on the count of 4, hold your breath for the count of 7, and exhale through your mouth on the count of 8. Do two times in succession, and as often as you think of it. Your breath will become deep, your perspective altered. Dr. Andrew Weill states the 4:7:8 technique acts as a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system.

Close the Drawer 

Don’t take your to-do list to bed. Write it down before bed and put it in a drawer and close it. Dr. Ralph Downey, Chief of Sleep Medicine at the Sleep Disorders Center at Loma Linda University Medical Center says that in doing so, you give your mind a sense of closure- the “to-do” list is done - your sleep will be better, and you’ll be more resilient tomorrow.

Thanks for “Fill in the Blank” 

You’re waiting in a long line to buy gifts. Whether people in line are rude, or you are simply thinking about all you need to get done, this is a recipe for serious agitation! Purposefully shift your focus from those things to the one thing - anything - you can be thankful for IN THE SITUATION YOU’RE CURRENTLY IN.  Focus on that one thing and keep thinking about every aspect of it, and how thankful you are. You will emerge from the store calm, resilient, and ready to tackle other things.

In a season that's about so many wonderful things, giving being one of the primary ones, be sure to take a little time (a very little- this doesn't take much!) and give at least one of these gifts to yourself. It will make a difference. 

Be Clear About What You Want

Three Keys to a Better Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving holiday is upon us, and with it, the possibility of challenging interactions with relatives! Here are three principles for dealing with challenging situations involving others:

Don’t Get Dragged In

According to the American Psychological Association, general stress increases during holidays- 44% for women and 31% for men. One of the greatest stressors can be people—including family. When an irritating family member tries to drag you into a pointless argument, smile genuinely, say, “That may be” (neither agreeing nor disagreeing), and decisively change the subject. Their need for acknowledgment will be met, you won’t have sacrificed your integrity, and as long as you move on firmly, they will go with you.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors, and Better Families

If you’re the one who’s hosting, clearly let relatives know the block of time your house is “open for business.” We can take almost anything if we know the time is limited. Also, set up the “rules of the game” regarding keeping kitchen traffic to a minimum, keeping outdoor voices outdoors, etc.

Head it off at the pass

If you know that a close family member habitually turns holiday meals into a time to debate something sensitive, like politics, consider addressing it ahead of time. Rather than waiting for it to happen and trying to deal with another awkward situation, sit down and talk honestly about it now. Be courteous, describe your concern, listen to and acknowledge their perspective, then make your request along with a good reason for it.

To Get Agreement, Timing is Everything

80/20 For Your Health

Several people have mentioned my blog entry, “Put More Into Your 20%,” and how important this concept is in their own lives. The concept is the 80/20 Rule, or the Pareto Principle, which advises us to identify those few things we do that lead to great results, and to do more of those, and to minimize the efforts we make that don’t yield much (for more of a definition, see my August 3, 2009 entry).

As we begin to look toward 2010, one of the most important areas to apply this principle to is our health. Here are three actions we can take to help our bodies (sounds obvious, but think about it- how many things do we do that actually hinder our bodies- whether it’s what we eat, inactivity, etc.) that fit the 80/20 Rule to the “T.” All three give you a much greater outcome than you would expect for the effort you put in:

Drink Water

Our bodies are 60% water and, not surprisingly, every system in our bodies depends on it. Water flushes toxins out. Achy? Tired? Drink water. The Mayo Clinic recommends a few different approaches to deciding how much: one approach is the common wisdom of 8, 8 oz. glasses per day. Another approach says 13 cups for men and 9 for women. What makes this an 80/20 suggestion is the simplicity and ease of the action (drink water) and the substantial payoff you get in strength, alertness, and energy.

Eat Fruits & Vegetables

The research on what happens to our bodies if we don’t do so is undeniable, stunning, and sobering (think all sorts of sickness and disease). Equally, the research on what happens to our bodies if we do, is fantastic news- for strength and vitality today, as well as for the long-term. The only hitch is that the experts agree that several (the USDA recommends 7-13) daily servings of a variety of fruits and vegetables are what our bodies need. This can be challenging—one option I can recommend from experience is to get your fruits and veggies in capsule form with no additives or harmful engineering- go to www.smartlivingisjuiceplus.com for more information. The only real change to the fruits and vegetables, besides the removal of the bulk, is the essential removal of the sugars- a very good thing. This one is an 80/20 no-brainer.

Exercise the “SuperSlow” Way

Don’t let the name fool you. The only slow part about this workout is the pace of the repetitions. What’s not slow is the length and frequency of the workout—30 minutes once a week, and the results—comparable to what you achieve doing your regular workout several times a week. In LA, talk to McKerrin Kelly at SuperSlow Brentwood (310-979-0123).

 

Decide on Your Goal

Are You Ready?

One of the best ways to arm yourself in uncertain times is to be ready to tell people your elevator pitch-- what value you provide. Whether you're looking for a job, looking to keep a job, or just smart (by staying current with people and always being alert for ways to contribute), your elevator pitch is one of your best tools.

Your elevator pitch should start with your profession or role, specific expertise you have, and a mention of your general experience so that the other person can put it all in context. At this point, the person is getting a sense of you, so now it’s time to illustrate what you’ve been saying in a way that brings it all to life and differentiates you from others. This might be in the form of key accomplishments, an example of a recent project and the value it created, or particularly unique characteristics that set you apart. Finally, make it clear that this elevator pitch isn’t an example of how arrogant you are, but simply a lead-in for how it relates to them:

• If this is a job interview, be direct. Tell them that you’re interested in seeing how your capabilities can benefit them
  
• If talking with someone at a party, be less direct. Tell them what you like most about what you do, and make sure that what you like is something they would value!
  
• If you currently have a job and are having a chance conversation with your CEO (in the elevator!), tell them what you enjoy about your work and how it impacts the company (in other words- make sure they see your value!)
  

Here’s how this might sound, if you’re, say, a marketing consultant:

• Profession: I’m a marketing consultant…
  
• Expertise: … specializing in brand creation and development…
  
• General Experience: …For the past 10 years I’ve worked extensively with clients in the consumer electronics industry…
  
• Information that differentiates you: …I recently completed a project with a client that resulted in the company moving from the number 3 spot in industry market share to the number one spot, within one month of the new brand launch…
  
• How this information could relate to the other person: …What I like most about what I do is the combination of insight and innovation, meaning I get to have very deep insight into what my clients’ products and services bring to the world as well as what their goals are, and then, in partnership with my clients, I get to develop innovative ways to position their company to the world. That is seriously my idea of fun. And then when I see the results in the company bottom line—that’s not bad either!